Sunnydale Confidential 2 : Holiday Road
by Gojirob
Summary: Continuing the story of a post-S6 AU, we find the expanded and restored Summers family heading to the House Of Mouse in Anaheim. Even there, they find something work-related, and the rocked world around them continues to shake. Chapter 1 is the main story; Chapter 2 is a character piece set during the main story. Brief Xover cameos within.
1. Holiday Road

**Sunnydale Confidential 2 : Holiday Road**  
>by Rob Morris<p>

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA, 2002

Xander could still hear the quiet but long argument playing in his head. Without preamble, Buffy had begun the back and forth.

"You had a twin sister?"

He was family now as he had never been before (or at least had known of before) but he needed no blood connection to guess Joyce would not directly address what was really on his twin's mind.

"Well, Buffy, twins do run in family lines."

That same family connection now made him understand Joyce even better. She was very good and very savvy at many things, but shook inside like a leaf at those things she was decidedly not the master of. Ever the Slayer, Buffy broke down the defense with relish.

"I didn't even know I had a twin, till just a month ago."

Xander knew then that Joyce had lost. Buffy was never good with blanket assertions. Suspicions about who Joyce might really be (and they had to admit, through their mental link, she could be so very many kinds of impostors, sorting through them all would likely take Willow and Giles at their best) fueled Buffy's upset.

"I had good reasons for keeping both of them from you."

But Buffy was also good at ceding ground when there was no point arguing over it. So the slack she cut Joyce was also giving her enough rope to hang herself.

"Xander I know why. I'm even almost okay with it. But-your twin-"

Buffy thought of her mother as often strident. Son or family friend, Xander thought of her as someone who could become strident. It became evident that this latest escapade (if legit) had removed both real and imagined stridency from this woman, and caused her now to speak to the subject at hand.

"Jane. She had been in that place since your father and I got married. She was out of control."

No telepathy was needed here, as both twins thought the same thing without any echo involved, as Buffy spoke.

"What place? And how was she out of control?"

Some fears were confirmed as Joyce tried to use a euphemism. It would not help her.

"Errr-she was in a certain facility you may be familiar with."

Xander tried to shoot out a mental _'Chill',_ but the imprecise nature of this newly discovered link plus Buffy's raw feelings on the subject made this pointless.

"Oh. So that psychiatric clinic is where you dump family? And do not dream of the slapping hand."

After the long summer when Buffy ran away and the horrendous fight in the living room (soon to be the UnLiving Room), a frantic Joyce had confided in Xander that a choice once made for Buffy's own good now seemed just another error in a string of them. She had never said what this was, but Xander guessed after Buffy's delusional rampage that past year that she meant the clinic.

"Be fair. We were afraid that losing Xander as a baby had finally gotten to you. And Jane was out of control her entire life. Then she went too far."

Thoughts of the Gorch Brothers, monsters long before being turned, came to mind for all three siblings, Dawn's retro-status aside.

"Too far?"

"She decided that she wanted your father. So she replaced me on our wedding day."

Xander didn't work the link, because he didn't need to. He could hear in Buffy's voice the realization that maybe the weird didn't start with their generation.

"Is this a ha-ha _'Love Boat/Candid Camera'_ replaced you or a _'Rebecca DeMornay/Macaulay Culkin'_ end of picture falls into trash compactor' replaced you?"

Joyce nodded, ignoring all pop culture or reaction to it.

"Trash. As in heap. That's where I put her. My parents kept telling me to be patient. My not so mild concussion and annulling husband told me that perhaps that time had ended."

Xander now fully realized that all Summers' men should just give in and elope. Weddings were just bad places for them.

"Dad didn't catch on through the entire wedding?"

Joyce seemed all the realer for her tones of disbelief at her own story-though all knew this was yet another thing that could be faked.

"Buffy-I didn't escape until after the honeymoon."

A girl who fought giant worms and petulant gods felt her eyes go wide.

"Ick. Did it ever happen again?"

The next part directly affected all their lives together, so the pretense of not listening was abandoned entirely.

"Twice. Once in April of 98', and then again in September of 2000, just after that visit from Count Dracula. The clinic is paying through the nose. I might just buy the old Justin house next to ours. I understand there's no room in ours at the moment."

Buffy had never cared for math, but she could do the basic stuff with no problem, and she did it then.

"Wait. 98'? That's when I ran away. Are you telling me the Mom I shoved and who threw me out was this Jane? But when I came back, you knew I was the Slayer, so wha...? "

On the one hand, Joyce's tale was chock-full of holes and sudden explanations. On the other hand, these were the kinds of flaws a real story had.

"Well, I'm not that dense. I finally stopped denying after those weird eggs. Jane couldn't handle it at all. She actually came to 'visit' me in the clinic, but came unglued and lost the act. The staff were red-faced beyond a bad tanning booth's abilities. So I came back to a mess I had put off and Jane had exploded."

This time, no questions or challenges were raised as Joyce kept on.

"I never thought she could escape again, but while you were with the Dark Prince, I checked up on her. I just can't figure how she posed as me for nearly six months. She's never once pulled it off that long, and with a brain tumor?"

Buffy had some theories, based on the Scoobies' experience with magic and its twists.

"Mom-I'm not prepared to go into it right now. But I think maybe the spell that created Dawn gave her- this Jane-some extra coherence, along with the false memories. It reinforced her lie to others, and to herself. Now that I think about it, some beastie that ate craziness in people did come after her. Geez. Upend much, us?"

Joyce was nearing the limits of her ability to talk about all this disruption.

"So where do we go from here?"

Buffy nodded, perhaps the awkwardness of that particular figure of speech starting to confirm that Joyce was indeed Joyce.

"We start by you never using that particular phrase again-its bad."

Xander heard the talk trail off, while Dawn went to sleep with her headphones on. The light around him began to get kind of bright, and he feared an oncoming truck. It wasn't, though it was someone who came on in a like manner. She proved this once again.

"You and Buffy? I couldn't believe it when I heard-or saw. Twins! No wonder you've had Slayers on the brain forever."

All three family members were in the back seat, right then. The woman clad in white next to Xander was well known to him, and to them all. Just not of late.

"Cordelia?"

Xander looked over at his shining ex.

"You would even say she glows. Cordi, what's up with that?"

She raised a finger.

"If we want to talk, there's no whys or wheres. But otherwise, we can talk."

He grew concerned.

"Are you all right?"

Bound from telling the truth of her unearthly condition, Cordelia first thought of her real response before saying what she could.

_*Xander, I'm bored out of my freaking mind!* _

"I'm good. How are you handling the Pamphlet of Revelation?"

His track record on lying to this woman not so good, Xander just said it outright.

"Cordelia, I'm going out of my freaking mind!"

She nodded nervously.

"Must-must be a not-so-good place to be."

Joyce woke up briefly. She saw the visitor.

"Xander, honey?"

"Yeah, Mom?"

"She's not one of mine, is she?"

"Uh, nope. Her mother showed me birthing films, in an effort to break us up. It wasn't you."

"Thank God, Xander. No offense, Cordelia. You were always so ni..."

"You too, Mrs. Summers."

After Joyce was firmly back asleep, Cordelia shrugged.

"I can't believe she was going to name you Scott Summers. You look nothing like the guy they got to play him."

TORONTO

Lacroix closed up the Raven for the evening. He looked at Spike.

"William, there are no more dishes to clean. There are no more glasses to clean. The floor has been bleached. You've earned your carafes of blood. You are free to go. I must needs prepare for my radio program., which begins as soon as Mister Dick Clark's Oldies Show goes off. And-no, he is not one of us. In fact, I really don't know what he is. I'm actually afraid to enquire."

In fact, the man was quite mortal, but Lacroix liked that bit of humor. Spike wiped off his apron.

"C'mon! There's gotta be something else I can do around here. I'm willing!"

_*No, you are what the Yiddish call a schmendrick.* _

Lacroix sighed. Usually the quickest way to get rid of a Hellmouth-breed was to offer the vampire honest work. Spike had to upset this theory.

"Actually, there is something of a delivery you can make to Nicholas, down at the police station. But it is vitally important that you get it right-down to the very last detail."

"I'm on it! Evidence? Drugs? Ammo? Vests?"

Lucien Lacroix gave him the list, and watched the overly-helpful vampire walk off. He then looked up at the sky.

"This is for those orphans in 1756, right?"

Ten minutes later, Spike made the pick-up.

"Alright, then. That's half a dozen powdered jelly, 3 chocolate mocha cream, and fifteen crullers. Cor, I love police work!"

At the station, Deputy Inspector Nicholas Knight popped down a cruller, much to Spike's surprise.

"I thought your breed didn't eat."

Nick waved his hand and grabbed another.

"Nathalie developed a digestive enzyme for us. Doesn't reduce the actual need for blood, but it keeps the hunger from getting maddening. Plus-when I have these, I think of Schanke. Speaking of absent friends, Spike-why are you here in Toronto?"

Spike seemed to freeze at the words of the elder vampire.

"Nathalie needs her coffee. As for the rest, I'm souled, I'm chipped, and I'm not looking for trouble. Just give me stuff to do, and I'll do it. Is that so much to ask?"

Knight watched him stalk off, and shook his head.

"Every time one of them gets a soul, it becomes the world's problem. Well, sorry, William. I am a detective."

A man who had only once lost sight, and not actual possession of his soul went back to work.

CALIFORNIA

Cordelia shrugged.

"Well, I came to see you because you were my step off the curb. Despite all the pain, I owe my evolution to you, at least at the start. God knows what I'd be if I stayed with the poplars."

"Poplars are trees, Cordi. They were the populars."

"I know what I said. And you didn't see their SAT scores. Trees, trust me. Xander, I gotta go. But there's something you should know."

He smiled. With his life in such chaos, touching base with an old-and non-related-friend was just the help he needed.

"Shoot."

She smiled.

"Remember that scene with Chevy Chase and his family driving along, and you see that Mom and the kids are asleep..."

Xander woke up, slammed on the brakes, and the car skidded carefully into the Anaheim Vista's parking lot. Breathing in, he saw no damage to anything. Then he saw his mother and sisters staring at him, their faces pale. He smiled as stupidly as he knew how.

"We're here!"

ENGLAND

Willow shook her head at the older witch.

"All right, so I've seen this omnivore-thingy coming up like nobody's business. So why won't you let me just research a spell that'll dust it, same as any vamp?"

Miss Harkness stood up.

"Come with me, dear."

She led Willow to a small room where a young blonde boy played.

"You are to care for him for a single day. Then we will talk of your research."

Willow sighed.

"And he's really ultra-magical, right?"

"No my dear. He has no...magical...powers. But you will do this. At the end of the day, his uncles will come for him."

Deciding to find out just what she was up against, Willow waited to enter the room till Miss Harkness left. She then cast a spell to make herself unseen. Tiptoeing in, she avoided floorboards that creaked and looked down upon her Game-Boy-playing charge, trying to figure him out. Then, the boy looked up.

"I sooo know that trick, lady!"

Willow felt herself forcibly phased back into sight, as the kid went back to his portable world.

"Okay. No magical powers."

CALIFORNIA

There were four Summers there. One lost and found. One dead and revived. One created and retrocreated. One legally dead and buried, then legally alive and exhumed. They each looked out at Disneyland, the banally corporate merged wholesale with what couldn't help but be a magic kingdom.

Xander looked out across the sunlit park.

"What a serene scene."

Joyce nodded.

"Even Khrushchev wanted to come here, you know."

Dawn was all smiles.

"It's like nothing bad could happen here."

Buffy handed Xander a stake.

"You up to clean the park, Mister Summers?"

Xander checked the stake for sharpness and sturdiness.

"Yeah. A place that looks this good has gotta have about ten nests. Mom, Dawnie-we'll meet you for breakfast at 9."

Buffy had already spoken to Dawn. There was no need, they agreed, to freak Joyce out by having what she would see as a young girl going with them. Dawn wanted to know this woman, so with a promise that this wouldn't become a trend, she acquiesced. As they left, Dawn asked Joyce a question.

"What do I call you?"

Joyce leaned over and hugged her as they walked.

"Mom is going to do just fine. But the G-Mom word is out, alright? Do you-want to go with them?"

Dawn chuckled.

"Nope. Those two creep me out. I so don't believe that they can just shut out the whole hormones thing. I think slaying together is their whole way of subletting."

Joyce saw a donut shop, and guided them towards it.

"Its sublimating, dear. And-you may be right. God, I used to worry so much that they'd start in. Angel was almost a relief, in some respects."

Dawn grabbed her stomach.

"You owe me an extra-jelly, after that one."

The twins patrolled the city of tunnels underneath the park, and were not finding anything at all. Buffy tried spilling some holy water about, looking for hidden walls and portals and such. At one point, Xander even loaded some into the nozzle of a utility hose, still to no effect. Buffy was at her wits end.

"Okay. This place is chock-full of wandering innocents who easily get lost. You're telling me that no demon-types want in on that action?"

Xander started some wheels turning in his head.

"Walt Disney was way religious. He would have had these tunnels proofed, to some extent. After all, if he did business near LA, he had to know the whole magic thing was not just Mickey and brooms with attitude."

Buffy nodded.

"So there's no lurking big bads. Go on."

"But no bigs doesn't mean no littles. Vamps just need inviting in. No problem here. Except we're not finding where they hide out during the day."

Buffy half-frowned.

"We're totally not. But my instincts and our experience say they're here. So where are they day-tripping at? Security's not so tight that we couldn't get this far."

Xander shook his finger.

"Remember the Brady Bunch ep where they went to the big amusement park? Did you know that the cast were miserable during that filming?"

Buffy wondered where he was leading.

"That's odd. That's the only episode where they actually seemed to be having real-kid fun. Uh, Xander? Point?"

Xander wrapped it up.

"Greg had a job at the story's end. Now, where do predators that don't need to breathe, need darkness and don't fret about non-flame heat go to in lovely Disneyland?"

Buffy actually shuddered.

"They take the job that nobody wants. The job that requires little air, provides constant dark, and requires huge hours, from before daybreak to after dusk. The one that has everyone wanting to cuddle right up to them."

Xander held up the empty character-suit.

"We are going to be hated."

"Hey, Sis! Let's take a pic with this fella!"

The man and his sister posed with each and every Disney character costume they could find. The 'Goofy' asked a question.

"Hey, what're your names?"

"Well, golly! I'm Dick Wilkins, and this is my sister Tara. We're just so gosh-darned keen on being here in Disneyland."

While posing, the duo poked holes in the back of the costume, their hands greased with olive oil. The sister smiled.

"Almost makes me wish you were the real thing."

The sunlight streamed in where the sun don't shine, and 'Goofy' ran off, smoking before falling down empty. Xander smiled.

"Well, Gawrsh!"

He and Buffy continued hunting the vampires inside the suits. The Slayer paid her twin a compliment.

"Okay, I admit it. This solution is better than staking them in front of the kiddies. How'd you think of it?"

"Well, it was either an inventive solution like this or deal with a Disney-fied version of that PC bullcrap you and Willow pushed that one Thanksgiving."

She was ready for him.

"Yeah, then I might get all upset, run away, and then have to deal with you getting in my face non-stop after I get back."

Xander shrugged.

"Well, now, we can really go at it, right?"

Buffy smiled.

"Oh, you're gonna be my sparring partner, trust me. Giles says that no matter how strong I get, your presence will relativize my strength."

He looked at her, confused.

"Errr...being around you makes me normal."

He kept walking.

"You? Not hardly, sis. Okay, we'll spar. As long as it doesn't turn into some kind of sublimation thing."

Buffy nailed him on that.

"No. That you do in your room. With the door closed and the radio on, if you don't mind. And for pity's sake, check the windows."

He put a finger to her stomach.

"Beware, Slayer! I can administer a tickle-fit the likes of which has not been seen since the first demon tried to return on some obscure night after being forever banished."

She snuggled right up against him.

"Oh, you are good."

They chuckled, stopped, and then pulled apart to a slight remove. Each shuddered. Buffy folded her arms against her.

"Damn! That kind of thing used to be cute."

Xander squeezed his own wrist.

"That's because before we found out, there was a one percent possibility it could end in something. Now it's zero."

"Is it? Even for kidding around?"

Xander walked away to check on something.

"Let me put it this way. Unless we want to play Luke and Leia go to Jedi Therapy, its zero."

Buffy thought hard about that. What she had gained from the revelation about who Xander really was had been obvious. That there would be even the most miniscule of prices had never occurred to her, even once. In the distance, another highly discomfiting sight awaited her, as Xander used his negation factor to drag a costumed vamp towards her, and out of the sights of the kiddies.

"Oh, God. Xander, I can't! I just can't."

Xander shook his head.

"One : I took care of the Country Bears, solo. Two : You are the Slayer. Three : It's not really him."

When Buffy was still hesitant, he tried again.

"C'mon! Just think of him as a giant rat!"

LAS VEGAS

Anya made her rounds while Hank sat at the buffet. She would have to check on him, and make sure he didn't overeat. He was so helpless. He needed her, and the reborn vengeance demon decided she liked being the one who was needed for once.

First stop.

"Okay. So you're sure you just want the IRS on him? Nothing more creative?"

Second stop.

"No, honey. As long as all he's doing is scoping and he then turns that lust back to servicing you, I can't really do anything."

Third.

"Ok. Now, you do realize that his family line includes both your sons and your daughters, etc.?"

Fourth.

"Yes, I realize he's also sleeping with Mrs. Choate. But busboys by and large aren't bound by oaths of fidelity, and you are his social superior. Plus, he did agree to drop the kidnapping charges."

Fifth.

"I am sooo not a bigot. We just buried a dear friend who was in your situation. I'm just not who you want for woman on woman vengeance. I always think penises. You want Kalifee. She understands, and she is a tactical genius. Why do you think the Amazons went away? Herc and Xena?"

Finally, what she knew would eventually happen did. The boss wanted words with her.

"Foregoing vengeance under certain circumstances? Counseling for directed vengeance? Referrals?!"

Anya folded her arms at D'Hoffryn. She stood up and looked around before calling out.

"Wait. Hey, people in this casino room? How many of you have seen the Wishmaster series of movies?"

When nearly everyone raised their hands, D'Hoffryn sighed.

"Damn cable TV and thrice damn DVD Box sets. Except for Thunderbirds. Anyanka, we took you back in. Try and work around this more educated vengeance electorate. Couch your terms. Declare yourself to be for vengeance in general, but hedge on affiliation. It's actually worked wonders for Pat Robertson's organization."

After he vanished, Anya vowed to still get even for allowing the philanderer-turned-demon to destroy her wedding. She didn't buy his and Hallie's wanting to protect her by getting her back into the fold. Yet Hank was still the fulcrum of her problem. So she sat down with her new husband, and asked the question directly.

"Darling, Hallifrek told me that Buffy, Xander or Dawn would demand vengeance on you within six months. What have you done that could possibly make them want to do that?"

Hank Summers shook his head nervously.

"I haven't been there for them."

"And?"

"I kind of brushed off poor Dawn."

"And?"

"I didn't attend Joyce's funeral."

Anya frowned.

"No, they'd have done something by now. Is there anything else you'd like to tell me? Hank, our lives are in danger."

Hank gulped, and shrugged.

"Honey, I wish I could tell you."

Anyanka's face shifted.

"Done."

GREAT BRITIAN

The little boy, whose name was Frank, was throwing things around. With his mind. Things like Willow.

"And all they pay attention to is my little sister! And all they do is yell at me! And the Powers all moved away! Daddy's stupid experiments wreck things, but nobody yells at him!"

Willow was long past learning her lesson. About five minutes in, what her friends must have felt like finally became clear. Now, after an hour, she was ready to hurl.

"Frank! This is so not the way!"

He sneered as his little eyes continued to glow.

"You shut up! You were gonna kill Dawn after Tara got killed, just so's you wouldn't have to hear her talk! You told Buffy she was a loser with a dead boyfriend and that a mental institution was her favorite place, and then...Mommy walked in and I had to turn on CNN. I'm not sposed to watch TV14."

How he knew about all that concerned Willow not so much as that she actually had said all that to Buffy. Her physical violence she understood. But the impact of her verbal assaults upon her friends only now came back at her.

"Please? Put me down?"

He actually increased her speed.

"That's for when Buffy came back from running away and you acted like a tattletale creep to her Mom!"

Willow was going to try a risky spell, when a flame demon entered through the window. It pointed at Frank, and spoke.

"Frank! Serious chill! Put Miss Hann-errr, Miss Rosenberg down. Now."

Willow felt herself placed down, gently. The flame demon shrugged.

"Sorry about this. You think he gets bad, you should see his alternate future son, Hyperstorm. Good luck with the next big bad!"

Touching his belt, the flame demon activated a device that opened a portal. On the other side, an orange rock-demon waved. After all had vanished, Willow simply lay there, contemplating.

"I'll just betcha Xander could explain this."

That is, if he ever spoke to her again. Was there still room for her in Sunnydale, after killing, insulting, and keeping vital secrets?

TORONTO

Janette checked on her stepson's child. The baby was asleep. She had loved her human husband, and eventually found that she could not leave his son to the mercies of foster care. Still, when he and his girlfriend had announced their little accident, she wanted to kill. For this evening, though, no one had any complaints about the makeshift babysitter.

"You did a good job, William. A great job."

Spike kept looking out the window.

"It's the chip, y'know? It kicks in quadruple if I even think of munching on kiddies. The soul does the rest."

Janette remembered what Nick and Nathalie had told her, and moved in for the kill-so to speak.

"William, last time you crossed our paths, Lacroix had to leash you. Literally. Now you're being oh-so helpful, and hanging around a breed of vampire that could kill you with no effort. That's more bipolar than Drusilla, if you ask me."

Spike shrugged.

"You want bipolar? Try a Hellmouth-breed-the great-great grandsiring of the Master himself, falling for the freaking Slayer! No bloody alliance, no bloody Beast, no bloody chip, and no bloody Dei spiritus. This was before all that. I fell in love with the thing made to kill me. Hell, specifically to kill me. With most vamps on my end, let's face it. The Watchers could give Harris lunch money and he'd keep them down. No, the Slayer was meant for the smart, vicious ones, like me and Angelus. Both of whom she's slept with, by the by."

Janette chuckled.

"She sounds stable. But then, I've only met one Slayer, and she let us be, since we don't traffic in demonic activity. Not that she could have done much. We kind of laugh at stakes."

Spike shook his head.

"Sure o'that, are you? Naah. The Slayer is not a bunch of pretty muscles. She is a weapon. A beautiful sword, broken but always perfectly reforged. Marred, but always with a deadly cutting edge. A blade that comes at you, but can't ever be held down."

Janette felt she had it now.

"The first time I made love to my late husband, I raped him."

Spike turned, looked at her and stood frozen.

"How's that?"

She nodded.

"I tried to do the act without biting. I succeeded, yet I was still a vampire in heat. So I took him, and I don't mean I enjoyably took him. I punched. I broke. I twisted. I nearly killed him. That was the reason why, the next time we tried, he let me partially take his blood. The process later rendered me temporarily human. My being human meant I couldn't protect my man from the corruption that decided to end his life. My turning human before Nick saved me by taking me back over gave Nathalie the inspiration to try the process with Nick. That is why she's a vampire. One act of violence, William. It all stemmed from that."

Spike shook his head.

"If you raped and nearly killed him, how could he take you back? How could you face him? Your breed keeps the soul!"

Janette looked down.

"Because, for all the pain, we both still wanted to find out why we had bothered in the first place. We had to know. William, you and your Slayer have to know."

Spike closed his eyes.

"How'd you know all that about me?"

Janette shrugged.

"I hypnotized you."

Spike nodded.

"I can respect that."

DISNEYLAND

Buffy and Xander finally joined Joyce and Dawn for breakfast.

"Well, what kept you two?"

"And what's with the hot and bothered look?"

Xander grabbed some orange juice.

"Lots of physical activity together."

Buffy bit into a corn muffin.

"Let's just say that our childhood is definitively over and done with."

Xander took in some ice water, while Buffy buttered her remaining muffin.

"Innocence lost forever."

"One of the great lines of society crossed."

Joyce got up, covered her mouth, and ran to the bathroom. Dawn followed her, pointing at the twins as she left.

"I knew it! You two are just SICK!"

The twins sat there, confused, till Xander raised a finger.

"Should we have perhaps told them that we meant having to de-vamp the character suits?"

SUNNYDALE

The young man asked his sister a question.

"This will work, right?"

The young woman held up the mended urn.

"The witch thought it was all done with. Crazy Glue. Works wonders. Besides, the brat started the process. We only have to finish it."

The young man turned to their older, wiser British mentor.

"Who do we still have to gather?"

The well-versed Brit shook his head.

"No breeding, and no patience. They will gather to us. Soon."

He pointed at the gravestone.

"Now you two get on and call back your mother."

And so the incantations continued.

SEACOUVER, US/CANADIAN BORDER

His attempt to settle the old grudges between himself and Macleod was not to be that day. The only one at the Immortal's dojo was the Highlander's latest protégé', a former army clerk from Iowa.

"It's just as well. The blood's bad enough that I should phone in the whole thing."

Spike was actually glad to be getting back to Sunnydale. His whole being had changed, in many respects, but he still loved risk, and Sunnydale was a huge one. Another risk was awaiting the sunrise on a good harbor like Seacouver sported. Could he run fast enough when the rays really became dangerous to him? That was always a sport.

"C'mon, now. Let's not peter out before we see it."

His exhaustion he couldn't understand. The vamps in Toronto had fed him well enough, before he left. Yet undeniably, he felt his eyes closing.

"Oh, wouldn't this be a joke?"

Yet the real joke lay hours ahead. Spike felt warm, yet not as warm as one might think. He looked up from the park bench, and yelped.

"No! No-I'm burning! Its afternoon and I'm burning! Its afternoon and I'm-not burning?"

Except for a slight tan, he was indeed not burning. He checked himself.

"Alright, then. Let's do the face."

If the harmless sunlight was a shock, his inability to distend his features was a greater one.

"Could be a spell. Or maybe the jewel from way back kicked in again. Or..."

Or, And, and But all became quickly irrelevant as Spike went to splash his face in the lavatory. A face greeted him in the mirror.

"Bloody Hell."

There was steam on the mirror, from where he'd leaned in.

SUNNYDALE

The wholly feral vampire with the thick Cockney accent leaped at the more genteel-sounding Britisher, but then writhed in pain.

"I decide when you feed, and you will feed. But I thought it wise to keep the chip in when I brought you here. Now, there's a little fool named Clem staying in your crypt. Have him."

The vampire looked up.

"Then I can hunt?"

The young man walked over.

"Sure. There's some grafitto-types over at the new school construction site. Nobody'll miss em."

The vampire smiled at the informer.

"I loik you a lot!"

ENGLAND

Giles had a concern he kept from Willow. His _*old friend* _was nowhere to be found, and that was always a problem. For then and there, though, he merely listened.

"So I had the bad dream where the Earth had teeth again-only it bit half of me off. What does that mean?"

Rupert tried a simple tack. He pointed to a rose. He caused it to grow larger, just slightly.

"We each possess the powers of creation and destruction. You saw your own grimmer potential, and it has scared you, as well it should. Now, cause that rose to die."

Willow gestured, but instead the rose became perfect, and then became a whole bed of perfect roses of every stripe. Giles knew this was not due to a lack on the young witch's part.

"Willow, cause me to become blind, as you did some time back."

But try as she might, Willow couldn't.

"Wait. Maybe this'll do it."

When she was done, Giles removed his spectacles, and looked about him, wholly without strain.

"Oh, dear."

SUNNYDALE

Hair and eyes as coal, her face lined by thick blue veins, the witch gestured at the headstone.

"Lame-O's. It's like so easy."

As the buried body burst through the ground, the British man smiled.

"It's easy for you, my dear. That's why our little family loves you so well."

DISNEYLAND

Buffy had climbed in behind him. Dawn had climbed in front of him, as he slept. Joyce was at the end of the bed. Xander smiled.

"Well, this is one way to have multiple women in my bed."

All in all, it had been a good trip. Dawn was a little disappointed that no costumed characters were about. Joyce was more suspicious than she originally let on about the twins' intentions towards one another. Buffy walked with a verve Xander had never seen in her. This he attributed to the 'Supergirl' syndrome from the old comic books, when Superman no longer felt like a freak after meeting his long-lost cousin.

"So long as she's-so long as they're all happy."

Midway through the night, Dawnie arose and went to the bathroom. Xander heard a soft voice say his name, he could swear with undertones of 'Daddy' mixed in. In the bathroom, he found her, pajama shirt only, this covering her entirely.

"Xander? I'm scared."

Friend, brother, or sort-of-father, of course he held her as she cried in confusion. Buffy walked in, and saw Xander holding an eight-year-old little girl. A girl who had a name.

"Dawn?"

Still asleep, Joyce turned fitfully in bed.

"No! Please-don't let her out again."

SUNNYDALE

The young man watched as the little girl was fully formed. He turned to his sister.

"You didn't have a problem with...ya know?"

As amoral as Faith had ever imagined herself or tried but failed to be, the young woman shrugged.

"It was good. Besides, it's not like we were raised together. Then it would be sick."

As the vampire returned from feasting, the slightly older woman raised from the grave was tended to by the British man.

"We needed the carnal act, children. One made from squeaky-clean love, the other, etc.? Now-we are ready to begin."

The slightly older woman opened her eyes.

"I'm back?"

Ethan smiled once again.

"Yes, Jane. You are back-and your whole family is with us."

The little girl rolled her eyes.

"This is sooooooooo BO-RING!"

LAS VEGAS

Hank broke down and told it.

"I visited Jane that morning, about a year after the wedding trick she pulled. I wanted her to apologize for impersonating Joyce. Instead we made love. Wild love. She was tricky that way. Then I wanted Joyce, so I could feel clean and faithful. So we...again. Well the first time with _her_ that day. My second time Buffy and Xander were born almost nine months to the day after. But I later found out that I must have been particularly potent that day."

Anya wondered why her attraction for this fool was only deepening.

"You mean Jane had a baby too?"

"Babies. Twins. A boy and a girl. I had a PI take pictures in later years. You couldn't tell them apart from their cousins. They were taken from her, of course. Joyce doesn't know."

Anya knew to look for further consequences.

"Do they take after Mommy Jane in any way?"

She knew the answer, somehow.

"Well, yes. But a lot of foster care kids develop deep-seeded mental aberrations that just happen to coincide exactly with those of their birth mother's."

Anya pointed.

"You, pal, are just so very lucky that you are better endowed than your son, or I'd back out of this here and now!"

SUNNYDALE

Ethan raised a glass.

"To our little family unit, and to the unseen sponsor who brought us all together so we can take the whole bloody ball of wax apart. It's all too fab a concept for us to really grasp. It's not about good or evil, right or wrong, heaven or hell..."

The young woman with the face of creation's hero finished for him.

"It's about power."

'Jenny Rayne's Boy' as he was once euphemistically known, was now positioned to hurt his brother Rupert as never before.


	2. Mommy's Back

NGH : Mommy's Back  
>by Rob Morris<p>

AUGUST, 2002

ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA

BREAKFAST

Dawn nodded as she, to Joyce's mind, smothered the hash browns in ketchup.

"You can ask me whatever you want. Are you kidding? I've only dreamed of having you back. I remember how you babied me, while you got sicker. I thought maybe if I only projected love, you might get better."

Joyce puzzled over this statement, until the obvious struck her in the face once again.

"Dawn, that wasn't me. I'm sorry, honey. But I met you as I pulled up to our home. The woman you remember was Jane."

Now Dawn was burying her scrambled eggs in black pepper. She glanced nervously.

"Crazy twin sister, right? How weird is that?"

Joyce bit into her English muffin before responding.

"Very, very weird. Very agonizing, too. She took over my life a total of three times. During each of those times, it was like I didn't exist at all."

Dawn actually ate some of the over-spiced mix of food, making Joyce wince.

"I'm there. I didn't exist until just after she did her third and final  
>takeover. Buffy thinks that maybe since she was loopy, the spell that made me wiped her memories of crazy Jane away, so she was able to pass as you with no problem. I guess I never really knew either of you. But that's not new, either."<p>

When Dawn motioned for some Mexican Hot Sauce for her food, Joyce decided it was time to start asking questions.

"How-you look so much like Buffy-are you real?"

The fork dropped onto Dawn's plate. Her upper lip began to quiver.

"Look. If you don't want me around, please just say so. I'll stay in the room, and out of your way."

But Dawn was reseated and then hugged by Joyce as quickly as she got up.

"Honey! You are a part of my baby. That makes you a treasure beyond price. I just meant to ask if you were physical or-if you were a solid memory. I'm ignorant, Dawn. Magic is not Mommy's strong suit."

Dawn poured on the hot sauce, took down a few gulps that Joyce obviously found painful to watch, then shot back.

"Neither is tact, apparently."

As Joyce moved to respond again, Dawn got in another verbal blow.

"And I'm a part of both your babies. I have both Buffy and Xander's DNA. Well, anyway, that's what Giles says."

The implications of that moved Joyce off of the subject of Dawn's tone of voice.

"The spell. It didn't make them?-cause them to-uhh, that is-"

Dawn stared cluelessly for a moment, and then her eyes went wide.

"Ewwww! Ickkk! I mean, it's bad enough those two are sublimating all over the place. Their MOM is now asking about the deed?"

Joyce was starting to take this girl's measure, and so asserted herself.

"YOUR Mom is asking how a very special young lady entered all our lives. I think you'll find I'm not a great appreciator of sarcasm."

Dawn downed a glass of grapefruit juice, and then tomato juice.

"I remember. Time was, anything Buffy said or did sounded or looked like sarcasm or rebellion to you. And then there were those stupid teen-handling tapes you had. I used to listen to them when I needed a laugh."

Joyce chuckled a bit, till once again the differing levels of reality at play made her think.

"You remember? But you weren't there."

Dawn tried to be patient.

"Yeah. But I don't just pick up in September of 2000 and go from there. You may not know me, but I know you. I remember leaving LA. I remember Daddy's visits getting less and less frequent. I remember being angry at Buffy for running away, and then being angry at you for not seeing how much pain she was in when she got back. I remember midnight ice cream  
>raids. I remember the whole 'how much Slaying should Dawn see' debate. I even remember Buffy catching you when she told how Graduation Day went. You-totally fainted."<p>

Joyce breathed in. This was the child she never had, and had never known. That would have to change. There was too much of the children she did give birth to inside of Dawn.

"Ok. Let's start again with me apologizing for the 'real' question. Are we good on that?"

Dawn smiled, and held up a bottle of Tabasco sauce. Joyce's eyes pleaded as the reddish spray struck Dawn's plate. Dawn nodded before starting to truly chow down.

"Good to go-Grandma."

LUNCH

Back some years ago, Xander had visited a Harris relative on the Jersey Shore, spending much of the summer helping to fix up a rental property to be rented out the next summer. The work meant long hours on hot days, but this cousin was dry and clean, and very fair. The only oddity, that he would later find out was no oddity, was this man pronouncing the family name as 'Horace'.

Subs for lunch was an everyday thing, and dinner, even when consisting of frozen entrees, was a cut above. Then came the day they all just quit, permits and zoning laws meaning that they had done all they could for then and there. Xander was actually shocked when he was included in the group to be taken to the local Six Flags amusement park. He hadn't had to beg, or try to pay his own way. His inclusion had been a casual thing, as though it had been unthinkable that a house guest would not be  
>brought along. But the bitterness of the long bus ride home had caused him over the years not to think about the rides of that day, or of the shows seen.<p>

Pay-One-Price Amusement Parks had a problem that most Pay-per-ride parks did not. The concession stands were typically understaffed, and all had long lines. In the present, as Joyce returned with Burgers, Fries, Onion Rings, Shakes and Sodas, Xander noted that once again. He also wondered why his thoughts were fixated on something so mundane.

"I believe that's a bacon, cheddar and guacamole burger for you as always, and a just plain ole' with onions for Mom."

That was why. Mom. This wasn't just Mrs. Summers, or Joyce, anymore. This was Mom. His real Mom. A thousand prayers and pleas of a childhood spent quietly behind a locked door as screams and threats went out in all directions had finally been answered, and in the best way possible.

"That's an awful lot of food. Didn't you eat breakfast with Dawn?"

Joyce shook her head.

"Your little sister is in our room, right now, reconsidering the  
>variety of spices she placed on her eggs, bacon and hash browns."<p>

"You confined her?"

"No. She's in the bathroom. For a while, I think."

Xander chuckled.

"This one time, she is going on and on about how piggy guys are when it comes to personal hygiene. Then, guess whose Taco Bell Ultra-Supreme Mixed Platter decides to take its revenge. We emptied a whole can of Lysol!"

Joyce laughed, realizing ever more that indeed, Dawn was a very real teenager.

"When was this?"

Xander shrugged.

"Not too long after the funer..."

Xander started to lose his breath. Joyce tried to remain calm.

"Xander, I know I was declared dead. But it wasn't me."

Xander looked down.

"I wasn't talking about your funeral. I was talking about Buffy's."

While Buffy had glossed over this, Joyce was a bit confused.

"Why was there a need for a funeral? She died, but then she came back, just like when you resuscitated her. Right?"

Xander had feared this moment perhaps more than any other. The truth-telling had begun.

"Joyce, she..."

"Please call me Mom. Xander, I've ached for that since the day we found Sunnydale."

*Found* Sunnydale? Xander determined to speak to Buffy about this particular turn of phrase.

"Mom, Buffy was in the ground for almost five months. Not comatose, or in stasis, or magically kept back from death. She was dead, and as far as we knew, she wasn't ever coming back. Willow even stopped by LA to ask Faith if she wanted a magical parole. Heh. She predicted that Buffy would be back."

Xander smiled.

"You know, maybe it wasn't such a bad first time."

Joyce put her burger down.

"Faith was your first time? A Slayer?"

Xander gulped.

"Sorry. That just slipped out."

Joyce ate the other half of her burger.

"Xander, I want the truth. Have you and Buffy ever been together sexually?"

He shook his head.

"No. I told you that years ago. That-was you-wasn't it? Not your wacky cousin that looks like you with a black wig?"

Joyce sipped some soda, and then took a spoonful of shake.

"That was me. And that was years ago. There have been funerals. Rampages. Rebirths. Pain. It doesn't take much to drive two young people together. Especially people that were born together. I've read about cases where the blood relationship was not known until later. The people in question all said that part of the initial attraction lay in a feeling of familiarity. I'm not accusing you or Buffy of any sort of crime."

Xander tried hard not to glare at Joyce. His love for this woman had been the real deal long before he had known who she truly was to him.

"Buffy and I once had an attraction. Ninety percent on my side, ten percent on hers, maybe. Then came Angel, Cordelia, Willow, Faith, Parker, Riley, Anya, Spike-Anya and Spike-I think that's just about it. Boy, for hormonal young people, that's a pretty damn short list."

Joyce was sipping her soda hard.

"It felt long enough to me, dear."

"Point being, the once with the love spell and the leather jacket and her seated atop me was as close as we ever got. Period. The rest you'll have to trust us on."

Joyce smiled and put her hand on his shoulder.

"I do trust you, honey. Always."

Xander smiled, and nodded.

"Besides, except for the overtness of her attempt, she didn't go  
>anywhere near as wild as you did. I mean, 'Xander, I don't think I can share you' while wielding an axe? If you just could have seen yourself..."<p>

Joyce looked over at him, her eyes very wide.

"You...you told me that only the girls at the high school fell under that spell. How did I get mixed up in it?"

Xander shrank inside.

"Crap. Okay, it was any woman who saw me. You included."

Joyce put a piece of ice from the soda cup in her mouth, and crunched it in one bite.

"But I'm your mother-I knew I was your mother. How-how-how could I want you? I mean, yes, that was a major lean period in my life-thank God for Rupert-but one would think that-ahem-Xander, are there any other secrets you have to tell me?"

Xander sat silent for a moment, so Joyce asked again.

"Son-and I am very proud to call you that-we have in our brief lives demonstrated better than any family in all of human history that secrets can destroy. So no matter what it is, I want you to tell me. Now."

Xander looked directly at her.

"I had an intense dream in which I was about to do it with Tara,  
>Willow, Anya and you. Then the First Slayer came around and cut my heart out. But we didn't actually end up ya know there either."<p>

Joyce responded without actually responding to the actual issue.

"You poor thing. You can't even make it that far in your dreams?" 

Xander dipped his fries in some ketchup, one at a time. At fifteen fries, he finally looked at Joyce once again.

"Is this how you generally talked to Buffy over the years? Cause it would explain a whole lot in the attitude department, on certain occasions."

Joyce bristled at the attitude belying this, but then also realized  
>exactly what she had said, and what they had been talking about. She finally realized that it wasn't what she wanted them to talk about at all. She took his hand.<p>

"Xander, losing you ended one life for me. Hank and I were never the same. Not on any level. Buffy used to cry herself to sleep, and she always left a space for you in her crib, and then bed, in case you might come back. Over the years, even as she finally pushed back the few memory fragments she had left, I could see she needed someone. Her old friends in LA were so damned fickle. Long before the Slayer, they would turn on her at a moment's notice."

Xander nodded.

"I know. I've seen it all in her thoughts."

Joyce squeezed the hand she held.

"I became so easily worried about her. I became massively  
>overprotective. I became suspicious of her movements long before she gave me reason to. I felt I had to. I couldn't bear to somehow lose both of you-or to fail her as I had you."<p>

Rather than counter her harsh self-assessment just yet, Xander asked a few questions.

"What about Hank-Dad?"

Joyce seemed misty about her ex-husband.

"You have to realize that he's very easy to underestimate. I fell in love with him when I realized that he'd taken the full measure of one of George Horace's high school beatings-with dear Louise holding a knife to cut off possible escape-all so that the visiting school superintendent would see the whole thing."

"This was-where?"

"Antedale. Antedale High. A school that was full of suburban snobs that behaved like inner-city kids, with all of the violence and none of the reason to be that way. I was tough, but I had no gang, which made me a target. Hank just was one. He got George and Louise and their gangs expelled when the school authorities witnessed the whole thing. He never raised a hand in his own defense, so that no one could say that he started it, or had been a part of it. Hank Summers can be very clueless  
>as to how he seems in the eyes of others. But that mind of his is very, very good at getting even."<p>

Xander chuckled.

"Maybe we ought to pair him off with Anya."

Joyce waved her hand in the air as she laughed.

"Stop! Do we really want to imagine that nightmare? Between those two pairing possibilities, I'll pick you and Buffy. At least psychiatric help is available on that end."

Somewhere in Las Vegas, this nightmare did not need to be imagined. Xander asked his next question.

"So just who were the Harrises? High school bullies who didn't like losing their power?"

Joyce shrugged at the simplistic yet accurate description.

"Basically. Hank warned George to stay away from him. Reminded him that each time they clashed, Hank was bloodied but George was broken, and that one day it would just have to end-or maybe he would end it. Hank had a phrase from an old novelty song he liked to sing, right in George's face, no matter how many times it got him hit : 'The Bloody Red Baron, Was In A Fix..."

Xander was again shocked by just how much of the odd man he'd only met a month ago was in him. He completed the line.

"...He'd Tried Everything, But He'd Run Out Of Tricks.' I used to love that song. But Dad hated-Dad hated everything. So did Mom. Because that's who they really weren't! My God, I was living with my kidnappers. I didn't have to have them as a part of me. I didn't have to be such a complete pile of damaged goods."

Joyce rose, sat on the side of the table he was on, and embraced him as she had always meant to. And now, there were no thieves waiting to snatch him, or warn her off.

"Damaged goods, my ass."

She kissed his forehead, and held him as tears flowed from two sets of eyes.

"You're my baby."

DINNER

Joyce had known from the start that her talk with Buffy would be the most difficult. Dawn was the child she never had. Xander was the child she had lost. But Buffy was hers, raised by her, a living symbol of her strengths and all her flaws. Hank's hidden strength for strategy was there, too. But if fate made the Slayer, it was Joyce alone who made the young girl that fate chose.

All that said, Buffy's opening words were still stunning.

"You lied to me."

Just how many times, Joyce wondered, had the two exchanged that particular phrase? It stung, she decided. It stung badly.

"Which lie is this?"

But Buffy merely sat there, implacably playing a game that probably wasn't healthy, but was going to get played anyway. Joyce sighed, and tried to guess her way through the minefield.

"This is about keeping quiet about Xander, isn't it? I'll admit, both your father and I could have handled that better. But our attorney was so convinced that your time in the clinic could have been used against us in court. After a certain amount of time had passed, I almost gave up on ever telling either of you. I even became afraid that the Harrises might kill him, rather than let him go."

Buffy finally spoke.

"Neither Xander nor I hold you or Daddy responsible for what those scum did. You handled them as well as anyone could ever hope to."

Joyce noted the strained formality. The girl was angry, to be certain.

"Speaking for your brother, are you?"

Buffy tapped the side of her head.

"Kind of a hazard of our new/old condition."

Joyce winced a bit. Again, something that she had been made lightly aware of now came more fully into view.

"What's it like? I mean, last time something like this happened, you nearly went insane."

Buffy fought off a smile, as though trying hard to keep her grim  
>demeanor intact.<p>

"This telepathy is the exact opposite. We can shut each other out, but we rarely ever choose to. It's a comfort. It's like facing the big scary playground together, knowing that as long as there's the two of us, we'll always be safe. I've never once felt that way. Neither has he. Did it ever feel that way for you and Jane?"

Joyce shook her head.

"No. Never. Is that the lie you can't forgive? That I had this  
>outrageous family situation and couldn't figure out how to tell you?"<p>

Buffy again surprised and frustrated her.

"Well, in that she presented a potential danger to us, I guess. Then again, a life-grabbing twin sis is too weird for words."

Joyce was fighting off the urge to deal with her tensions with another heavy meal. The grilled chicken Caesar's salad before her was going to have to suffice. But other things were proving to be vastly insufficient.

"No! You cannot sit there, accuse me of lying, then casually shoot down the lies that I freely admit to, and that you seem to agree with about their necessity. Dammit, you owe me that much."

Buffy nodded.

"Okay. You want it? Here it is. You lied to me about why we moved to Sunnydale."

Joyce tried to reason this one out.

"How? How am I supposed to have lied about our move? Or is this part of some new reality from out of a spell or a demon's blood?"

Buffy looked to be carved out of stone.

"Funny. That kind of dismissive little statement, as much as it rips my guts out just to hear it, is my best proof that you are who you say you are."

Joyce felt herself petrify as well, though not in fear.

"Well, as usual, you picked a hell of a time to confirm that kind of thing. Now are you going to dance around, or are you going to tell me about this supposed lie?"

Buffy nodded.

"Oh, there's nothing supposed about it. You told me that we moved to Sunnydale because we needed a fresh start after the hell I raised in LA, or words to that effect."

Without fully realizing it, Joyce bit into one of her breadsticks  
>before responding.<p>

"Etvas-Ahem-It was hard finding a good school in a decent town-or one that looked a lot like a decent town. Last time I let Pat's-another Pat-little brother serve as my real estate agent."

Buffy continued.

"If they had let me stay in our little corner of the LA educational system, could we have afforded to buy a house in that area, once you and Dad sold the old one, after the divorce?"

Joyce heard a snap, and realized it was the breadstick she'd been  
>holding.<p>

"Well, maybe not an ideal one. Certainly not as nice as the one we found in Sunnydale."

Buffy now began to lightly smile.

"Didn't your client base back home fall off as a result of the divorce? Dad's friends blamed you. People who were both your friends didn't want to choose sides. Some of your own friends were apparently worried that the divorcee might target their men. Am I way off on that?"

Joyce felt large crumbs in her hands.

"No. I just don't see the relevance of what you're talking about."

Buffy looked directly in her eyes.

"How large a factor in our move was Xander's being in Sunnydale? I mean, you'd found your son. My brother. That had no play in this?"

Joyce shook her head.

"Of course it played a role. Yes, I wanted to be near my little boy, and maybe keep the animals that stole him honest! Buffy, what are you getting at?"

"What am I getting at? All right. There were a whole bunch of reasons for the two of us moving to Sunnydale, and the move was not this wretched, horrendous, life-draining hardship on you. But Mom, for that first year, to hear you tell it, I'd ruined our entire life and practically put you in the poor house! There were all these factors that were not me making us move, and yes, there was some of what I did, too. But it was never all me."

Joyce felt the crumbs slip out of her hands.

"Why are you bringing this up now?"

Buffy shrugged.

"Because I can and do understand your not telling me about Xander. But Mom, the one necessary lie makes me suddenly look at all the lies that weren't needed. The same woman who told me the divorce wasn't my fault was also telling me that everything else was. And it was kind of hard at times to separate the two. You told me what you did about our move to make yourself feel better. Every time I think about the crappy way I've  
>sometimes treated my friends, thinking of Buffy first and last, I<br>wondered where the hell this came from. Now we know, don't we?"

Joyce was suddenly glad she'd skipped a heavy meal.

"Mommy's not perfect, honey."

Buffy's features now seemed like cold metal.

"Duck and cover. Just like they taught you in school." 

Joyce now felt badly lost.

"What? You're not making any sense."

Buffy was seemingly starting to shake apart as she kept on. 

"You don't want sense. You want to be right, no matter what. I'm not perfect, either, but that only gets me forgiveness with a running tab. You screw up, you get both forgiveness and a clean slate. My lies hurt our relationship. Your lies were all proper. My running away was scummy. Your telling me not to come back was just stress."

Joyce tried not to make a spectacle, but that was becoming more and more difficult with each turn.

"I told you before. The one who gave you the ultimatum about slaying or leaving was Jane! Buffy, I was freshly locked away when she pulled that."

Buffy seemed a trifle calmer, but no more sympathetic.

"How was I supposed to know that? You're allowed to keep your own business, Mom. But if you choose not to tell me about this other person, if you choose out of necessity to lie about my twin and your own, then don't expect me to just understand everything by way of information I never knew about. If you don't tell me about Jane, Xander, or whatever-then don't make sweeping statements about my wrongs that I have no hope of even responding to properly. God, I know how hard it's been for you. Since Jane got sick, and then died, with us thinking she was you-I've had to be you, and I've done an absolutely rotten job at it. I was ten times as moody and bitter on my best day as you were on your worst day."

Joyce closed her eyes.

"Why all this here? Why now?"

Buffy's eyes were tearing.

"Because if I hold back in anything of how I feel about you, good or bad, and then you suddenly go away again-"

Joyce saw her face crumple.

"-then I'm just gonna crawl back into my grave, because that's all I'll be worth. I love you, Mommy. But this time, I have to tell you everything. Before the next disaster. Before the next stray arrow, or fireball. Don't you see? If I don't tell you how the bad things you did hurt me-you'll never know that it's because I hold your opinion of me as sacred."

Joyce felt her heart in her throat.

"You told me what a rotten job you did being me. But Buffy-all I am is you that's been on the job a while longer. From where I'm sitting-you did great. The house is still there, you've raised a sis-dau-well, she's just a little Ang-Cherubim."

Buffy chuckled. Joyce shrugged.

"Seraphim?"

Buffy tried to finish up. Of course, life never allows for such clean breaks.

"Xander has an awakened ability to negate magic-based powers with his touch. Guess that has some pretty heavy implications, in our world. When he touches me, I become just a girl again. But you've always had that pow-"

Joyce raised an opened hand.

"Wait. Your brother has powers?"

"Well, no. He has the power to take away other powers."

Joyce nodded. 

"And then he can use them himself?"

Buffy shook her head.

"No. He just negates them. Then the demons are like human-level strength, speed, etc."

"And then he gains super-strength like yours?"

"NO-no. Xander is then able to fight them on an equal basis. His only power is to take away magic-based powers. Its somehow his right as the acknowledged twin brother of the Slayer."

Joyce kept on.

"Well, why isn't he a Slayer? If you were born together, I don't see why he doesn't have super strength, too."

"Mom-men aren't Slayers. Only women. We've been through this before."

"Dear-it just seems unfair that you can overpower your brother so easily. It could give him a complex."

Buffy tried again.

"Mom-he can totally negate my powers, too. We're equal."

"Buffy, I'm just not good on this women-only clause. I mean, its sounds all empowering on the surface, but really, it's just some people's way of keeping us in our own club. Have you ever tried letting your brother be The Slayer? Because if you did, I think you might find out..."

Inside, Buffy boiled over, and then began to laugh quietly while Joyce kept on expounding in her wholly inimitable way. Sensing this while marathon feeding Dawn antacid back at the motel, her twin shot off a mental question.

_ *Hey, Buff? Everything alright there?*_

She chuckled again.

_ *Everything's fine again, Xander.*_

Xander saw an image of the now non-stop Joyce talking away, and smiled as Buffy spoke one last time before getting to her dinner.

_*Mommy's Back.*  
><em> 


End file.
